Origin Series – Burn-Out
As part of our “Origin” series we will not start at the beginning, we will start in the not-too-distant past. This post will be split into 2 separate posts, they are both important topics, in some ways they may be inter-related, even though they are not. They each deserve their own platform and space.
Part 1, this post, relates to Burn-Out and Part 2 relates to Bi-Polar disorder. Right let us crack on ….
Part 1 – Burn-out
To provide background and context to my business journey and how Root4Plant came about, I had worked for a large US listed multinational group for 15 years, one of the oldest and most respected groups, Johnson and Johnson. I worked for the Pharma Division, in the Finance and Commercial functions. Of course, there were ups and downs, however taken as a whole, I really enjoyed my time there and specifically the first 13 or so years in the Janssen Pharmaceutica family.
Why did I leave? Well …. I was retrenched, the work relocated to a different continent, I did not, I could not.
However, it is not that straightforward, you see I was burnt-out, “beyond burnt-out”. The human mind is incredibly strong, you can push yourself past most limits, however the body will break if the mind does not.
Somewhere in between (Ok not even “the beginning of the end”)
Was it a risk leaving and not moving within a large Corporate, especially in this day and age, even more so in South Africa, given its rather unique laws and circumstances, of course it was. Except it was not a risk, I did not have a choice. My body had had enough **, the mind could have continued but not the body, if I was not going to listen to myself, my body would. That said, saying that the mind could have continued was perhaps delusional, however it would always give it a go, always striving for the unique and impossible solution to the puzzle. However, this puzzle had become a “Rubik’s Cube”, which is quite difficult to solve with a of lack of distance and perspective, a figurative blind fold.
I could take the self-funded break with a clear conscience, my time off would not have impacted the company, as daft as that sounds. Loyalty is important …. burn-out removes logic and perspective, taking the time off earlier would have benefitted both parties. The right company (people) reward your loyalty and I am sure that Janssen Pharmaceutica would have. Loyalty is an old-fashioned concept; however, it remains important to me.
Is my story unique, yes, only in the sense that every story is unique, as it links back to an individual’s experience. The story itself is unfortunately common.
Autosomal Dominant Compelling Helio-Ophthalmic Outburst Syndrome or ACHOO.
With permanent back and muscle spasms for 2 years, if I sneezed my entire back would ache, which I had attributed to a “rather” impressive sneeze. I have always had what can be termed a powerful or loud sneeze, rather embarrassingly, I have been known to stop large lectures, meetings and sometimes even traffic. Given what were the initial theories behind sneezing, we could call it a sneeze of “biblical proportions”.
I had been having constant physio for many years, however that made little difference until I took the enforced break. My muscles had turned into blocks of concrete, that would go back into spasm 1 or 2 days after physio. There were very few pain free days. This had contributed to additional ailments, a chronically stiff neck and sore shoulder, the former responds well to physio and is mainly muscular / soft tissue related.
However, what has not come right would be my shoulder, 12-to-16-hour days, working behind a PC, year on year is not healthy. I am not a Medical Professional, I can however attest to and confirm that Calcific Tendonitis and chronic Bursitis is extremely painful and limiting. Do they know what causes it, not really, however as an educated guess, working behind a PC does not help the situation.
An Ulcer which fortunately appeared to clear up very quickly with a quick change in diet and less than 1 week of medication. Along with several other ailments from time to time.
The positive, there does not appear to be serious permanent physical damage apart from the shoulder, however who knows? The shoulder, following conservative medical treatment, is a work in progress.
Somewhere along the journey
So here we are …. did I choose or was I forced to bring forward what I had planned as a retirement project, in the distant future …. well, a bit of both. I would love to be able to say that it was a ground-breaking revelation, everyone should try it, the best choice that I have ever made, however that would be disingenuous and false. There are always 2 sides to every story, positives and negatives, I will not “sugar-coat” this story, even though it is leaning more towards the positive side.
Root4Plant was introduced, earlier than expected.
Our persona of “The Crazy Accountant” was launched a risky move from a business point of view, particularly in the Finance field. A risky, however honest and purposeful name for a variety of reasons, one of the causes that we support is Mental Health, except we call it “Mental Wealth”. Being Bi-Polar *, there are so many misconceptions around this condition, that using a “stereotypical misconception” as a persona just makes sense. Additionally Crazy allows me to introduce the plural and inject a sense of my personality and a bit of fun, while addressing a serious topic.
*Perhaps, an unexpected benefit of being Bi-Polar is that a unique kind of resilience and mental toughness builds up over the decades (Yes, I was Bi-Polar long before Bi-Polar became more mainstream, accepted and in some ways perversely “hip” and popular?) for those that hang in there. I am of the belief that it delayed the burn-out by at least 5 years, COVID had little impact, burn-out had been coming for a while, in an odd way COVID most probably delayed the inevitable.
However, I digress, while as noted above, I believe that may have delayed the Burn-Out, perhaps having to work harder to prove oneself contributed slightly to the situation …. more on Bi-Polar is to follow in part 2.
A few Takeaways / reflections
- I have had time to reflect, one could call it a “complex prismic experience”, not spiritual, more an exercise in logic and self-preservation, an exercise that must continue. The amount of time that I have had to reflect, is more I would have liked, even though I do realise it was and is always required.
- Take 2 consecutive calendar weeks of leave every year, you will be all the better for the experience. For those 2 weeks, take a holiday, do not check in on the office. The world will not end. Ok, it may but not because of your leave.
- The longer the burn-out experience continues, not only do you become as effective as white crayon, one does become a blunt crayon. You will work harder and harder, for fewer and fewer results. Rewards will have less and meaning.
- Asking for help is difficult, next time consider asking and get over the perceived embarrassment of needing help. Others are normally more than happy to assist; you do however have to be open to the concept.
- Important to remember, you also need to be prepared to accept assistance which is difficult to do when you do not realise that you need the help. Do companies have a responsibility in this area, perhaps not, however great companies will make the effort.
- Listen to your body, your mind may want to continue, however the body ages quicker and catches up. That is a contradiction, however you get the point.
- Listen to others, they have the distance and perspective, that you have lost when you are close to burn-out (i.e., they can see the smoke).
- Retrenchment is not fun or a present, do not get me wrong, whilst it came as a relief, it is not a pleasant experience. I was fortunate in the sense that it came as a relief and an absolute physical necessity (what also takes place is that if you have known that the day is coming for an extended period of time there is at least some form or sense of finality, instead of that endless feeling of torture with an axe hanging over one’s head). There are many aspects and nuances, which remain with you regardless of how well the company and the individual try to manage the situation. All that you can do is try and take the positives from the situation and move on as best as possible …. and maybe, just maybe the result is a genuinely positive outcome.
- Companies do not care, people do. Obvious and have always known this …. it never hurts to remind yourself of this fact. If the people do not care, then you are at the wrong company. That said what companies do not always take into consideration, is that by changing the people, they can dramatically change the company culture and lose critical organisational memory in the process. This is always a fine balancing act for great companies, get it wrong and you are doomed to repeat mistakes of the past, where you had already “paid the school fees” and learnt the lesson …. well now you are repeating the mistake as you lost the student.
- I must constantly remind myself to #root4plant. You need to do the same and no not for me, though of course it would be great if you do, no you need to remember to “root4yourself”, very few others will, even fewer if you exclude your family from the few.
- 12-to-16-hour days are not an issue from time to time, even for months at a time, however not for years on end.
- There is always that little bit more that can be sucked out of the “Well of Adrenaline” to complete a successful close, I just came a bit to close for comfort to an empty well.
- Working endlessly is an easy way out, you can avoid the tough questions.
- I took 3 to 5 days sick leave in a 15-year period, however I worked on most of those days in any case. As for the prescribed sick leave, well I took that as a suggestion, instead of taking the sick leave. A hint here, you are paying the Doctor or HCP for their advice, earned from years of studying and experience, consider taking the advice, if not then at listen to what your body is trying to tell you.
- That light that you are seeing at the end of the “burn-out tunnel”, is a train, make sure that it is not the end of the line.
A few ideas for employers
- In severe burn-out cases, remove the employees access to the IT systems, the company offices and tell them that you will see them in 3 to 4 weeks. Is this your responsibility, probably not, however it would be a good business practice. That can be picked up by IT controls that monitor excessive “on-line” time or annual leave systems that show that leave is not being taken. At the very least you would reduce your potential litigation risk if you genuinely are not interested in your employees, perhaps self-interest will get you there. Your employees would however be better off without you if that would be your sole motivation.
- On work anniversaries, provide and force the employee to take 2 weeks paid leave for every 5 years worked.
- Consider implementing a sabbatical leave option, if it is paid leave brilliant …. self-funded also great.
Conclusion – To be Continued
If you remember only one thing, do not forget to Root4Plant and “The Crazy Accountant”. Even more importantly Root4Yourself.
Now as for those Takeaways, I need a pizza.
#Root4Plant #Mental Wealth #TheCrazyAccountant #Bi-Polar #Burn-out #Finance #Janssen Pharmaceutica #Loyalty
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This article is published without prejudice. E&OE.